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Sunday, July 19th, 2009
cutoffhisarm
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2:04p
word play
I used to rant a lot about words being a bad thing in relation to their abstract representation of things we can't verbalize or otherwise experience. While I generally carry that same attitude about them, I am very aware of the necessity of words and in fact words being one of the means by which we actually experience things.
However, there are somethings that amuse me and offer a bit of light heartedness in an otherwise big bleak concept. Just now the computer decided that "heartedness" was misspelled and offered these suggestions for suitable correct spellings, bigheartedness, halfheartedness, hardheartedness, and downheartedness. And there it is, words that look completely misspelled and strung together actually being the correct spelling. But I'm getting away from the point.
I actually don't know the correct way to say this or if there's a term for it but I can show you.
L E T T E R S
What is that? Is it a series of letters? Or is it the word letters? It's such a playful little thing. I had that same feeling "LETTERS" offered when looking back on a message from my cousin Danya. A real brief background on Danya. While Danya is my cousin, she is the daughter of my oldest Aunt Linda, who in turn is actually just a little to young to have been my grandmother. Therefore, Danya, while still my cousin, is the general age of an Aunt or Uncle. I'm only stating that so it makes more sense why she can't have "profanity".
But here's what the message said:
"Got to take you off my facebook can't have profanity. Email me if you need me.
Danya"
Now, I doubt that Danya meant to do this but by accidentally splicing a couple sentences together she economizes the amount of words necessary to get across what normally would have taken two sentence. It's as if she originally intended to say "I have to take you off my facebook. My Facebook can't have profanity." But instead we have it all there in ten little words. While she probably meant to say "Got to take you off my facebook, can't have profanity" I like the way it turned out so much more.
I feel like when words accidentally do things of this nature it's akin to interesting little unintended glitches in video games. Recently, while playing Fallout 3, I picked up an enemy on my radar, as I approached it all I could see was this extremely odd pipeline that seemed to stretch on into infinity. It wasn't till I followed it all the way to the edge of the northern most part of the map that I realized it was a Radscorpion from the game. Through some sort of glitch involving the layout and physics of Fallout 3's game engine, the Radscorpion's head suddenly became the length of the entire game and beyond.
Here are some interesting and very gory examples of what I was talking about:
Anyhow, that's what I've been thinking about today while doing dishes.
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skunkyrick
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1:29p
Full House
Anthony and Tsouni live with us now and Jeremy might be moving in. Which means we have to move the beloved office into a hallway!
Our living room looks good in this picture.
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(comment on this) Saturday, July 18th, 2009
cutoffhisarm
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4:09p
Things about Today
First:
At 5AM this morning I started watching a film called Zardoz. Why watch an entire film at 5AM after only getting three hours sleep the night before? The answer is simple, this beautiful piece of dialogue is presented within the first 10 minutes of the movie...
[ the gigantic Stone Head hovers before the worshipful horde of Exterminators]
Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones. Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!
Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!
Exterminators: The Gun is good!
Zardoz: Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
I could have cried. In a lot of ways the movie inspired me. One, because I know you can make anything your insanity riddled brain can dream up, and two, Gods that throw up guns.
Second:
I've been surprisingly productive lately, in part because of the advent of becoming a dad, but also due to Engines Roar. Due to this increase in self value / human worth, I haven't had time to make any videos at all really. But there were a few hiding on my computer I found last night. Like the two parts of this entry, the twin videos are on one and beautiful and the other completely fucking insane. Still, I uploaded one last night for you to enjoy, it's a swan song I made for Solange last year, about how I should keep my fucking mouth shut. I hope you enjoy it.
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(comment on this) Friday, July 17th, 2009
javachickn
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12:54p
Foxgloves, 18x36", acrylic and spraypaint on canvas...
I have a 54-piece art show opening 6 pm tonight at Plaza Design in Mckinleyville CA for their art walk night. There will be wine, music and I'll be there too! Check out my friend's photography over behind miller farms at the little art studio gallery there, if you're in the area tonight...
I have been doing so much art lately that I can't keep up with posting it here on the blog. The above foxgloves is my favorite thing i've done lately and I want to paint more plants now...
( some photos from lately and two drawings )
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(comment on this) Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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autokrater
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8:41p
Sirre-Akbar
As soon as I started up Univers Zero on Monday morning I noticed a brown squirming form near the left speaker on my desk. Some kind of strange stinkbug spin off that was fast and shiny, not at all stick-like and slow moving. What it was doing upside down with it's legs crazily flailing about near my laptop is anyone's guess...I flipped him over and kicked him outta the house. Thanks to the dissonant and spine-tingling music of Univers Zero, what would've been just another mundane bug removal moment was instead a bit creepy. What was it? How did it get up on top of my desk? Where did it come from? What if there are more and where would the rest of them be at? I might have shuddered, a quick shudder that feels foolish afterwards. Such a shudder reminds me of the first time I ever saw "the face" on Mars. I was watching television at my grandparent's house when I was 10 or 11 and either the program they were watching had a short feature on "the face" or a commercial was airing that had something to do with "the face." That kind of twinkling piano music typically used on television to accompany mysteries, tv docs dealing with the cold cosmos and alien encounters. Staring at "the face" for the minute that it appeared on the television screen, I felt a chill zap my bones. I knew it was on Mars..but how was that possible? Was it a man's face? A man buried beneath the ground? Long after the frame of "the face" had disappeared from the television screen, I became more and more afraid of it. Afraid of the possibilities. The room that I used to sleep in with my sister at my grandparent's place barely felt comforting and it was all too easy to lie awake, seeing forms within the shadows..too scared to take my eyes off them should they dart towards the mattress and snatch me. My grandfather couldn't hear the television for shit so he'd crank the volume which resulted in a bit of a soundtrack for me and the shadowmen at the end of the hallway in the den(as my grandmother called it). All too often I'd hear the Unsolved Mysteries theme song, muffled through the walls and bass heavy, Robert Stack's sinister voice narrating tales of missing persons and axe-murderers at large.
I'm truly trying to be thankful for small things lately. Knowing that when Cool World crashes, it will be too large a wave to merely 'ride out.' Very grateful that I can spend 6 or 7 minutes looking at a cat and squirrel play a game of hide and seek/tag in the yard across the street. The cat ended up in the tree and the squirrel had already skittered across the roof of the house. Who knows how long I'll be able to drive leisurely down rural back roads, easing off of the gas on every corner(picked up that trick playing Need For Speed III:Hot Pursuit in 1999). I was given an opportunity at Wal-Mart when standing in line at the pharmacy. The back of a metal bench faces the line, a woman sat on the far right..impatiently waiting for her meds. There was more than enough room for me to get the minimal running start needed in order to kick one foot up on the top of the bench and vault myself over with arms outstretched. It would have taken everyone by surprise. I was thinking about doing it as if I were in a musical, trying to trick myself into thinking that the moment I started moving for the bench, music would magically begin to play and those around me would begin to dance as if bound by a law of nature. I really have the impulse to do absurd things like this at times. Not sure what it is....release perhaps? Maybe it's due to the illusionary world-full-of-holes being so ripe for mockery and pranks. I shouldn't be writing, I should be looking for jobs but it's so useless to check the same sites every hour or so, better to do a morning check and a night check. Jobs, jobs, jobs..imagine having two or three jobs, fuckin' hell. That thought turns my stomach and it has nothing to do with a desire to instead live a life where I lounge around all day eating cheetos. Making art hasn't felt like work lately. There have been less projects, less invitations but more interested buyers. Can't quite figure that out. I've been making things so slowly too, kind of worries me. I hope I'm not losing something integral to my personal creation process here, something is sucking my imagination out. Also going through that phase when I see too many tiny lines and nearly microscopic specks that take on a life of their own, developing into props or scenery. It's almost as if they are intruding into the drawings/paintings..what nerve. Hopefully not coming down with whatever Chonosuke Okamura had. I'm pleased to announce that I'm gonna have 6 drawings in a big group show at Stairwell Gallery which opens this Sunday night, I'll actually be there in the flesh, however uncomfortable it may be to unnaturally wear this fleshy "costume." I thought everything had completely fallen apart with Vice Germany/Casio but I guess I'm still onboard. It was a bit of a surprise to hear from Vice again because I didn't feel my artwork/interview in their illustration issue went over too well. However, I based this wholly upon the internet readership who basically seem to knock anything and everything. Then again, that's kinda what Vice does itself as a pop culture "guide" but I could be wrong having not read a full issue, rarely a full editorial. Not going to write an essay about it because I'm not very informed.
 
I listen to a lot of music. I can see, or rather hear, how a portion of it would be considered "annoying" to those who typically listen to the radio or largely listen to pop-based music or soft old timer recordings(big band, standards, doo wop, classical lite and etc.) My sister or my dad or Brandon(with whom I stayed in Austin)or a majority of Western Grandmothers would hear a song off an old Slayer album or Emperor and understandably decry it as "just noise." That's due to A.an undeveloped extreme metal ear and B.a lack of that "instant connection," or click, occurring within their brains/spirits. But I believe "annoying" is something different. It's almost instantaneous aggravation, or at least this seems to be the case from my experience. We all find different sounds to be annoying on individual levels but there are things that are largely agreed upon as being annoying within music. More often than not, when I've been asked to turn down my music, I'm listening to Henry Cow, Gorguts, Olivier Messiaen, or Mercyful Fate.(to name but a few) As much as I dislike Hilary Duff or Nirvana, it's merely low quality, mediocre music to my ears. Annoying to the point where I simply cannot listen due to rising anxiety or aggravation on the other hand..................................................
*Crazy Frog
*all of the early Graveland material with off tempo drumming
*laughing in music. Yes, I know all about "evil laughter" and how it pops up in heavy metal songs but it's maybe one or two laughs per album, I don't believe the laughs are ever unusually long..maybe King Diamond is a bit too gleeful later on in his career. Laughing, farting sounds, silly mouth noises in music piss me off, thus I have never listened to much Frank Zappa.
*DJ scratches where they do not belong=outside of hip hop based music
*Sublime
*references to pop culture within a song..effectively dates the song if the lyrics go on a namedropping spree in reference to the year in which they were written. Even more annoying if the lyrical references all refer to past pop culture(songs about the 80's being so awesome)
*sad, heart wrenching country pop/rock ballads with "personal tragedy" lyrics penned by someone who might have or might have not watched their newborn daughter die, lost their brother in a snowmobile accident etc, but usually sung by a big star who never went through said tragedy.
Galling in their fake first hand experience, contributing to the big cloak of bullshit wrapped around our planet.
I.Wondering about bombing the moon. NASA in theatrical mode, hmm..gets me thinking about the moon in general. It's as if NASA acts odd and strikes me the wrong way and thus I am drawn to fringe subjects.
II.Wish Bal-Sagoth were one of those quality "weirdo metal" bands. I tested the waters, examined the evidence..negative! negative! negative! Steer clear captain.
III. Do you ever consider what might go through your mind if you saw an extraterrestrial being captured in a photograph or through the window, across the street? Would you even believe it? I think our minds have been so desensitized by alien themed movies and television shows, a history of bad CGI and too many poor makeup jobs. What if the real thing looked a bit cartoonish to us humans? Doesn't help that there are multitudes of con artists with rubbery alien puppets and shaky cameras. And what about hologram tech? The alien would have to prove himself to be legit, a 30 second appearance really wouldn't cut it.
IV.It looks like "MoraVagine" might be next on the list after Dune II, Dune III. I'm just about finished with the first Dune, I can identify with Paul less at the end and this is a bit more depressing than I remember it being when I first read the book. Perhaps I can relate to him(pre-Muad'Dib)more now in 2009 than I did 3 years ago.
V.Now they've got a robot in the works that will "eat" dead human beings(among other things)for fuel.
VI.Admiring a seagull flying in the muddy, gray sky while on my trek home from Providence where I dropped off my pieces. Solefald's "The Linear Scaffold" album was a perfect fit as I rolled on past the greasy looking water under the bridge, took note of the deepest green moss and ferns off the side of the highway. I was never aware of the "Temple to Music" in Roger Williams Park....
VII.I'm hesitant to review, in depth, "Until the Light Takes Us" here. I'll make brief notes
A.Viewing experience
*not pleasant, had a wide head in front of me obscuring a good portion of the bottom of the screen
*the crowd seemed to be made up of those who like black metal for the props/spikes, the extremity, the B-movie Satanism..incorrectly defined as the essence of the movement by both global media/the metal media.
*drunk bastard in attendance who thought he was a laugh riot..wasn't
*on the plus side, Natalie was there and I was able to get squared away on the show details for Sunday, Zach and Sarah made good movie-screening companions, Sarah accidentally smashed a bottle of lemonade on her couch before we left her apartment, she'll never hear the end of it.
B.The Positives
*neither a shitfest like "Lords of Chaos" in a documentary format, nor the nightmarish art student homage to black metal imagery that I was fearing in the back of my mind.
*Varg got a lot of screen time, wasn't painted as a nutjob homicidal maniac
*the filmmakers weren't really trying to slip any undercover opinions in there. They didn't choose a side when covering modern artists who flirt with the cartoon definition of black metal within their work..this surprised me. A biased view at that point in the movie would have made the entire end product even more clumsy.
C.The Negatives
*barely touched on the musical aspects
*no real history, assumed the audience already knew about early 90's Norwegian black metal
*didn't get into the nationalism behind the Norwegian black metal movement
(not talking about National Socialism so chill out).
*didn't take a very philosophical approach whatsoever, mostly covered the controversy but did so tastefully I suppose. major players putting in more than their two cents, telling the story in scattered pieces.
*editing was shit
*the end of the film was a disappointment because it established black metal as just another piece of pop culture, devoid of any real meaning. Since the essence of early 90's Norwegian black metal had never truly been dissected during the film, the ending was rather poor and confusing. With only a few quintessential statements by way of Varg and Fenriz, the "why" behind the music/behind the lyrics was largely left up to the viewer's imagination. I give one thumb down.
*someday Zach and I shall recreate this album cover for one our projects, no cucumbers.
current music: polygon window-quixote
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cutoffhisarm
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1:41p
Two Fists Days
 | "Vienna is not Los Angeles. My work came out of kids' television in Los Angeles. I didn' t go through Catholicism and World War II as a teenager, I didn' t live in a European environment. People make references to Viennese art without really questioning the fact that there is a big difference between ketchup and blood. I never thought of my work as shamanistic. My work is more about being a clown than a shaman."
-Paul Mccarthy
"I enjoyed meeting the two of you as well. I'm impressed by how much you are out there hustling. Some interesting story lines working as well."
-Extremely nice gentleman with a very productive production studio |  | "He won the light-heavyweight title in April 2005 with a KO of Randy Couture..."
/ Any time Randy Couture loses
"It was a tough call. This time we had another DP and assistant who have more familiarity with the client, so we won’t need your services this time around."
- Extremely nice guy who's always trying to get me paid
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(1 comment | comment on this) Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009
cutoffhisarm
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7:40p
The exciting conclusion...
May 3, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. May 6, 1848 We found some wild fruit. We lost 19 pounds of food due to spoilage. May 7, 1848 We decided to ration the food in filling portions. May 11, 1848 We will now travel at a more grueling pace. May 13, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. We will now travel at a steady pace. May 14, 1848 An ox is sick. May 17, 1848 An ox died. We traded 4 sets of clothing for 2 oxen. We have reached Chimney Rock. May 21, 1848 We have reached Fort Laramie. We decided to rest for a day. May 23, 1848 We visited the store and bought: 6 oxen We visited the store and bought: 2 sets of clothing Bad water. May 24, 1848 No grass for the oxen. May 25, 1848 No water. We decided to rest for a day. May 27, 1848 No water. May 28, 1848 No water. May 29, 1848 Bo has cholera. May 30, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. June 3, 1848 We shot 49 pounds of meat. June 7, 1848 Bo is well again. June 8, 1848 We found some wild fruit. We have reached Independence Rock. June 14, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. June 15, 1848 We have arrived at the South Pass. June 20, 1848 Bad water. June 23, 1848 We have arrived at the Green River Crossing. June 24, 1848 The ferry got our party and wagon safely across. June 25, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. June 27, 1848 We shot 542 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. June 28, 1848 No water. June 29, 1848 Will is sick with typhoid fever. July 2, 1848 No grass for the oxen. July 3, 1848 We shot 1065 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. July 4, 1848 We shot 419 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. July 5, 1848 We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. July 6, 1848 No water. July 7, 1848 We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. July 8, 1848 We found some wild fruit. July 9, 1848 Will is well again. No grass for the oxen. July 10, 1848 No water. We have reached Soda Springs. We traded 153 pounds of food for 1 ox. We decided to rest for a day. July 12, 1848 We decided to rest for a day. July 15, 1848 We shot 805 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. No grass for the oxen. July 16, 1848 No grass for the oxen. We traded 187 pounds of food for 1 ox. July 17, 1848 We lost 20 pounds of food due to spoilage. We have reached Fort Hall. July 18, 1848 No grass for the oxen. July 19, 1848 Bad water. July 20, 1848 No water. July 21, 1848 No grass for the oxen. We took the wrong trail and lost 2 days. July 24, 1848 Will has a broken leg. No grass for the oxen. Rough trail. July 25, 1848 Bad water. July 26, 1848 We shot 373 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. July 27, 1848 An ox is sick. No grass for the oxen. We lost 24 pounds of food due to spoilage. July 28, 1848 Bad water. July 29, 1848 We shot 825 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. No grass for the oxen. We decided to rest for 2 days. Bo has a fever. July 31, 1848 Erin has dysentery. August 2, 1848 We found some wild fruit. Bad water. Amanda has cholera. August 3, 1848 No water. We decided to rest for 2 days. August 5, 1848 We found some wild fruit. August 7, 1848 Amanda died of cholera. August 8, 1848 Bo is well again. August 9, 1848 Bad water. We lost 28 pounds of food due to spoilage. August 10, 1848 Erin is well again. No water. We have arrived at the Snake River Crossing. August 11, 1848 The wagon tipped over while floating. We lost: 575 bullets 160 pounds of food Bo (drowned) Erin (drowned) August 12, 1848 We found some wild fruit. No water. August 13, 1848 Bad water. We lost 8 pounds of food due to spoilage. August 14, 1848 Bad water. We decided to rest for 5 days. August 21, 1848 An ox died. August 22, 1848 We shot 349 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Bad water. August 23, 1848 Will got sick and died.
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(comment on this)
cutoffhisarm
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6:57p
Recently found...
I found an old Diary of mine the other day. I hope you enjoy it...
April 1, 1848 We started down the trail with: 6 oxen 10 sets of clothing 1000 bullets 2 wagon wheels 2 wagon axles 2 wagon tongues 1000 pounds of food April 4, 1848 We decided to ration the food in meager portions. April 7, 1848 We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. April 13, 1848 The ferry got our party and wagon safely across. Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. April 15, 1848 We will now travel at a more strenuous pace. April 16, 1848 We shot 388 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. April 19, 1848 We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing. April 21, 1848 We had no trouble floating the wagon across. Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. We lost 15 pounds of food due to spoilage. April 22, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. April 23, 1848 We decided to ration the food in filling portions. April 25, 1848 We will now travel at a steady pace. April 27, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. April 29, 1848 We shot 1205 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. We decided to ration the food in meager portions. A thief stole 99 bullets. April 30, 1848 Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. May 2, 1848 We have reached Fort Kearney.
To BE CONTINUED!
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(2 comments | comment on this) Sunday, July 12th, 2009
pilarcruz
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8:53a
Let me tell you about my fucking hotel.
I'm staying at a Days Inn. It is just this side of skanky. Every night, there have been sports teams of kids. All of the parents are inattentive, which is being nice. At least some grumpy old dude was staying here last night and screamed at the kids.
Everyone is trashy. The parents, the kids, my room, the lady at the front desk. She has an amazing wig and her Wind Song is totally staying on my mind. That is not a good thing. Everyone "enjoying" the continental "breakfast" was chewing with their mouths open, which grosses me out big time.
There is no fire alarm and the electrical outlets are totally sketchy. I also have ants.
I had to take a cab to the nearest liquor store.
I can't wait for the hotel the government has chosen for me. The outlets have to work, there has to be fire alarms and conveniently enough, there is a free happy hour for guests. Don't worry, hotels and airlines have government rates, which are cheaper than regular room costs. I won't waste taxpayer money. I'll leave that to my coworkers.
current mood:  blah
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